The simplest way to fit in in a play party is to behave politely. There will be people right in front of you who are doing very sexual things. They are doing them for _their_ pleasure, not for yours. Stay away from the action unless invited to participate– and a glance in your direction does not constitute an invitation.
Respect safety and play boundaries. SSC, RACK, PRICK. Have a sense of humour. Leave your drama at home. We are ‘neutral territory’ and expect it to be respected as such
Even a hug if you don’t know someone is a bad move without permission, much less anything more intimate. Keep your hands to yourself unless you get express permission. DO NOT EVER touch other people without asking permission first.
Do not help yourself or touch other’s peoples gear either. Unless you get permission. If you’re not sure if something a loaner toy or not, ask.
Our parties aren’t swingers parties. Sex isn’t generally what most people will be doing at our parties. But if you want to do something sexual as part of play, we don’t have any issues with it. Obviously genital involved play not including sex is also fine if you want to. We will be very unhappy if we have to clean up after you.
There are usually cleaning supplies near play equipment. That’s so you can clean up any stray sweat, saliva or other body fluids (*ahem*) after your done using it. If you’re not sure, you might even want to bring your own. Some sanitizing wipes and/or a hand towel or two may not be amiss. Don’t be a grot.
Be aware of how close you are to people who are involved in a scene. If you’re too close, you can be invasive and distracting, ruining the feel and experience for the people playing. This includes your voice level. Don’t talk if you’re close to a scene in progress. If you must, then keep your voice as low as possible. If you have to talk at length for some reason, move away.
Play that happens at parties is fair game for spectators, that said, it isn’t a performance or entertainment for the party. Don’t masturbate while watching play unless the players have invited you to do so.
What happens at parties stays at parties. If you are a Fetlife memeber, it’s fine to use your nickname from there. People have lives outside of kink and confidentiality is an expectation. When in doubt, less said is better. Confidentiality can be tricky, but it’s very, very important. Don’t talk to people in your daily life about your kinky friends by name. This or any other form of “Outing” and is unacceptable behaviour.
BDSM gatherings are also referred to as ‘play parties’, this does not however mean people are obligated to participate. There are areas for play and there are areas for socialising. The other benefit of going to one of these events is that you will get to see people playing in their ‘natural’ habitat and observe, and also mix and meet with a lot of different people. No one will judge you for hanging around the snacks all night and just observing.
